The Ordeal
by Anitoon3
Summary: Mitsuki asks for a favor from his family. SPOILERS for a character appearing later on in the series in this oneshot.


Here a Mitsucho solo oneshot that is AU. I put it separate from the other oneshots because it probably(?) has gone up in rating. I didn't want to chance it getting my other oneshots banned, so yeah. *But expect no smut/sex scenes because I can't write that*

**There are SPOILERS in this oneshot for a new character later in the series. I'm pretty sure I made him out of character, since I don't really know what his canon personality is like.**

Also Orochimaru is a nice parent in this, and excited! I love writing wholesome family bonding.

Still, hope you like it! Either way, I kept laughing. I chose to do the whole embarrassed sibling idea. It was that or embarrass Orochimaru!

The bonus scene is after they get to the store, but before they are at the register.

I don't own Boruto, it belongs to Ukyo Kodachi.

The Ordeal

* * *

"Will you both accompany me to the store?" Mitsuki hoped they would. He had tried asking his male friends to help, and even his girlfriend, but they had all refused.

"Hmm? Why do you want us to go? You're old enough to go by yourself. After all, you're 19." Orochimaru was confused. He turned to Log, who wore the same expression.

Mitsuki looked at their crinkled foreheads and small frowns. He fidgeted while remaining in the same spot. "Yes I know that, and usually there wouldn't be a problem. But what I want to buy gives me pause, because I do not know the specifics."

"Specifics, huh? Yeah sure, we'll go with you little bro." Log lifted his body up from the couch. He ruffled Mitsuki's hair before going to go change out of his pajamas. Orochimaru turned the television off before going to put his shoes on. Soon the little family were off to the store.

Log couldn't believe this. Mitsuki had asked them to come to the store on a Saturday for _this_? He stared at the multitude of condoms on the shelves.

"Remind me again why your friends couldn't come?"

"Well, I did ask Boruto but he told me that friends don't ask each other for help concerning this. Then I went to Shikadai, who stuttered and had trouble making eye contact. Finally I asked Chocho, since she was the one who brought it up in the first place."

"And what'd she say?"

"To buy a box and that she'll show me what to do before we have sex."

"Right." Log believed that, but why couldn't it have been Suigetsu that Mitsuki asked? Why his older brother and their father?

"Now son. We will be happy to assist you however we can." Orochimaru put his hand on his eldest son's shoulder and pushed Log towards his younger brother.

Together the trio took a step forward, bringing them closer to the condoms.

Log looked at the first generic brand he saw and grabbed that box. Tossing it to Mitsuki, he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Here you go."

Log felt a chuckle rise out of his throat beyond his control. Poor Mitsuki, his younger brother looked so lost and confused.

Mitsuki figured that it would be best to educate himself on the subject if he wanted to further his relationship with Chocho. Turning over the box in his hands, he began to read it. Mitsuki's eyes took in all the information, hoping to commit all of it to memory if he did decide to buy this type.

As Orochimaru looked at the different condoms, Log started to walk away from his family. He checked on Mitsuki before he went just to be sure the kid still wasn't still confused. His smile dropped.

Mitsuki watched as Log hurriedly yanked the box out of his hands, which were placed near his crotch. Log looked around to see if anyone had seen. Thankfully no one else was in the same aisle at the moment.

"The hell are you doing?! You can't just whip it out in public!"

"But the box says–" Mitsuki was confused.

"I don't care what the box says! What you were about to do is considered indecent! If you want to make sure it's the right size, wait until we get home." Thinking that was the end of it, Log gave his brother a pointed look before turning to walk away.

"Oh. Well, would you tell me how to put it on?"

Slapping a palm to his forehead, Log opened his mouth to refuse but was interrupted.

"Oh look Mitsuki, it says right here how you have to be delicate with it. Then when you're erect–" At this point Log stopped listening and went to another part of the store.

After almost thirty minutes, Log figured it would be safe to go back. How wrong he was.

Mitsuki's arms were loaded with multiple types of condoms. And his younger brother had also acquired a shopping cart.

"Look at these, Mitsuki! They glow in the dark. Don't they look fun?" Orochimaru passed the chosen box to his son. He could feel boundless pride swelling inside, so much so that he forced away tears that threatened to spill. To be honored with helping Mitsuki with this task, was a moment Orochimaru would cherish. He didn't care if it sounded creepy, a parent only had their baby in the nest for so long.

"Let's see. So far we have: glow-in-the-dark, warming, colored, edible, textured, and pleasure. Can you think of anymore you might need, Mitsuki?"

Humming, Mitsuki couldn't. "No I think we chose a good variety."

Luckily the store wasn't too busy, and Log didn't see anyone he knew. As they walked up to the cash register line, thankfully there was only one person. Log sighed in relief. Mitsuki could pay for his purchases, and he and his family could get the hell out of this store and go home.

The cashier was a bored looking man. Silver hair that once looked spiky was now drooping to the side a little bit. He hid a yawn behind his fist as he flipped a page in his magazine.

"Attention Kakashi Hatake. Please come to the bathroom immediately. There is a mess that needs attending to. Thank you."

Groaning, Kakashi trudged out of the cashier area and across the store.

Orochimaru and Mitsuki both were unfazed. They were in no rush and began to take their boxes out the back of the cart. As the purchases were moving along the cash register's conveyor belt to be rung up, another employer suddenly came to help. Orochimaru's eyes widened. It was his friend Jiraiya.

"Jiraiya? I didn't know you worked here."

"Well how would you? You never come and visit me!" With an exaggerated pout, Jiraiya held onto Orochimaru's hands with his own. An idea occurred to him just then. "Hey we should hang out soon. Catch up on things."

Nodding, Orochimaru arranged a time and place that would be best.

Holding up a box, Jiraiya smiled knowingly. "Well, what do we have here?"

"An assortment of condoms. I am going to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time." Mitsuki didn't feel any shame in telling his father's friend about his plans. Though, judging by the way Log's face looked he felt awkward.

Behind them an old woman stood aghast, covering her mouth with her hand.

"All these for your first time?"

Shaking his head no, Mitsuki elaborated. "No, but the boxes say that each condom has an expiration date. And they can last for a while, during which time Chocho and I will test multiple ones to find a style that we prefer."

No one but Log noticed as the elderly woman left the line in a hurry.

On the inside, Jiraiya was yelling "Go Mitsuki! Go!" But he kept collected on the outside, his features giving nothing away.

Orochimaru patted Mitsuki's head. "I am so proud of you, son. Getting your first condoms is a huge step. You will tell me how it goes afterwards?"

Mitsuki had a smile on his face. "Yes, I will make sure to tell you all about the experience."

Log's head fell back, his eyes towards the ceiling. Oh god. Why did they have to be a 'no secrets barred' type of family?

Before the family of three left, Jiraiya came out from behind his station. Grabbing Mitsuki's shoulder, he watched as the cart slowed down to a stop. Slipping a pack of extra condoms into one of the bags, Jiraiya whispered in Mitsuki's ear. "Don't let the old windbag see you with those. Tsunade's never caught me before and I don't want her to now, understand?"

Yellow eyes connecting with black ones, Mitsuki nodded. "Thank you for these. I'm sure Chocho will appreciate them."

Giving the young boy a hearty pat on the back, Jiraiya smiled at a killer watt level. "Best of luck to you!"

Ultimately, Mitsuki considered their trip a success. The next weekend when Chocho practically tackled him to the bed, Mitsuki felt good about getting a variety of condoms.

"Oh my god! You actually did all that?" Chocho couldn't stop laughing, even as Mitsuki hovered above her naked body. He had a smile on his face as he recounted the events.

"Yes. All things considered, I think it was a day well spent. It was good bonding time."

A loud snort met his ears. Mitsuki watched as his girlfriend threw her head back on the pillow.

Holding her stomach, she felt a tear escape her eye. "You're incredible, babe. No way my family would have done that for me."

"Hmm yes. I suppose I am lucky that I have good role models to look up to."

Still giggling, Chocho pulled Mitsuki into a passionate kiss.

He groaned when he felt Chocho's hands roam down his back.

BONUS:

Almost choking from the laugh he produced while simultaneously eating cheese puffs, Guy wildly gestured at what he saw on the monitors. He gasped a lungful of air as a hand was placed on his shoulder.

"You alright, Guy?" Asuma looked down at his coworker with curious eyes, he wondered what got the man more riled up than usual.

"Asuma, you gotta check this out!"

Peering at the screen, Asuma saw what looked like a normal family in the contraception aisle. "Hm? What's so special about that?"

"No, no just hold on. You'll see."

They watched as the older brother smacked a box of condoms away from his little brother's penis, which was thankfully still zipped.

"Oh wow." Asuma was shocked by that. He looked at where Guy was sitting, only to find he was crying while laughing. Staring back at the screen, he smirked incredulously. "What are the chances of that?"

"Oh man, I have to call Kakashi! This is hilarious!" Leaping up, Guy hurried to rush out of the back room only to fall flat on his face. Hearing the door open, Guy saw his other coworker enter.

"Hey there's a giant mess in the bathroom – hey what's on the tube today, Guy?" Jiraiya smiled as he walked over to give Guy a hand. Steadying him on his feet, Jiraiya stared at the screen for a minute. Then he gasped loudly. "This poor innocent lost soul needs my help!"

Continuing to view the spectacle, Guy and Asuma laughed while ignoring Jiraiya's plight. They didn't even notice when he dashed out of the door like a small tornado.

The small family was both mortifying and fascinating.


End file.
